Escaping the Exclusive Brethren

Breakout - How I Escaped from the Exclusive Brethren, a recently published memoir by Australian David Tchappat was a intriguing read. David was a member of as strict religious sect (a classic cult) where rules and fear dictated every part of his life.

He was not allowed to socialise with 'worldly' people and was not allowed to own a pet or watch TV or listen to music. All his spare time was spent going to church and he was taught the outside world was evil, and people that left ended up living in the gutter.

He was indoctrinated that he would go to hell if he escaped the Exclusive Brethren. In his teens, he was so fed up with every aspect of his life being strictly controlled, that he planned to escape. His plans were discovered, and his whole family was punished by having siblings removed for months and no communication with the Brethren until deemed repentant enough to return.

Being an energetic teenager with a fascination with the opposite sex and a desire to experience life on the outside, he carried out an attempt to escape. His family tracked him down and he was brought back to the Brethren.

A few years later, he succeeded in escaping and began a scary journey trying to survive alone in the 'real' world - battling loneliness and confusion. The Brethren hounded him and because he had little support from the outside world, he was tempted to admit defeat and return. It was only because of the kindness of some individuals on the 'outside' that he was able to gradually integrate into society.

Once he finally got a girlfriend and once he had sex he was totally excommunicated and was abandoned and left alone. The continued rejection from his family was heart-wrenching. He knew they loved him, but they were too brainwashed to see how their actions were wrong.

The pain of losing his family was very difficult but he knew he could not survive any longer within the confines of such a prison. He became a policeman and then a fireman. He also had a stint on Big Brother, which he said had parallels to being in the Brethren - a dictator ruling his life inside a windowless building with no contact with the outside world.

David bares all in this remarkable story of courage and survival. He still suffers anxiety, depression and nightmares from the indoctrination and treatment he received from the cult. It was fascinating reading about his first encounters with a TV remote control, eating in a restaurant and enjoying a first Christmas and New Year.

He exited the cult immature, lacking in social skills with no sex education. He details his encounters with the opposite sex and his ups and downs in careers and relationships. He learns to develop real friendships with people that he was warned were evil.

Years later a new leader (Elect Vessel) was appointed, who was concerned with the number of suicides and teens escaping. This leader instructed all Brethren to apologise to excommunicated members, with the view to bring them back inside. Even after David got an apology from his family and was allowed to enter their house, they still would not eat with him

He gained incredible insight from his roller-coaster journey, and his book is a recommended read on the dangers of an extremely strict religious environment and the transformation of a straighty 180 geek to a charity fireman calender hottie (he posed for a charity calender).

These are some of the rules and regulations the Exclusive Brethren enforced while David was a member. All rule changes are implemented by the Elect Vessel, the universal head of the Brethren and God's representative on Earth. Anyone who challenges the Elect Vessel, his leadership or his rules is immediately excommunicated.

• mixed marriages (race or sect) are outlawed
• no physical contact is allowed before marriage, including holding hands and kissing
• marriages are not glitzy and there is no reception or honeymoon
• no sex education is taught and contraception is forbidden
• masturbation is an abomination and if caught, you are excommunicated
• women are forbidden from cutting their hair or wearing makeup
• socialising and eating with 'worldly' people is forbidden
• restaurants, cafes, cinemas, pubs, clubs, gyms, hairdressers are outlawed
• Brethren are not permitted to own or use a TV, radio, stereo, fax machine, computer, mobile phone, DVD recorder, computer games, music CDs
• cordless telephones and remote control garage doors are not allowed
• insurance is not allowed because Brethren have faith accidents won't happen
• shared driveways, semi-attached units and joined sewer systems are not acceptable - sewer pipes must run straight to the street and not join any house beforehand
• TV antennas and swimming pools must be destroyed after purchasing a house
• pets are not permitted, not even goldfish
• university is not allowed, as an attempt to keep Brethren as uneducated as possible
• gambling (including lotto tickets and raffles), smoking, illegal drugs, chewing gum are banned, although drinking alcohol is a favourite pastime (many Brethren drink alcohol to excess, even though abuse of alcohol is not allowed)
• holidays and staying in motels/hotels is not permitted
• anything fun or entertaining is now allowed, including bowling alleys, go-kart tracks, the beach, concerts, sporting events, movie theatres, theme parks, jet skis, boats, remote-controlled toys
• Homosexual activity and sex before marriage is forbidden - anyone who breaks these rules is excommunicated
• Easter and Christmas are not celebrated
• voting for any political party is forbidden, although contributing large amounts of money to electoral campaigns for governments favoured by Brethren seems to be okay
• excommunicated members are not permitted to attend funerals of Brethren

If rules like these are broken, whole families may be 'shut up' (not allowed to have contact with Brethren until reinstated) and children may be removed for months as punishment. Shut up members are not permitted to sleep in the same bed as their spouse or eat with the family.

Those excommunicated (eg for having sex before marriage or being homosexual) are completely cut off from their families still in the Brethren - no financial support, emotional support or access to children.

One day after church, Michael said to me: 'Have you got any music tapes?'...After a quick scan of the carpark, he... pushed a tape into my pocket, whispering, 'Have a listen to it, it's Midnight Oil, you'll love it'...I kept feeling the outline of the tape in my pocket to make sure it had not slipped out...filled with paranoia that one of my family members would catch me...

The only band music I had heard had been when the worldly guy next door would wash his car and have his stereo playing...Due to pre-recorded music and radios being outlawed, naturally I did not have a stereo system or Walkman at my disposal, but we did have a tape recorder which was about the same size as a small suitcase, which my family had used to tape us singing songs as kids and of my sisters playing the piano and guitar....after making sure the coast was clear in the hallway of the house, I grabbed the tape recorder and stuffed it under my bed...

Stiff with excitement, I waited until I heard the regular breathing of my brother as he fell asleep not more than two metres away. Like a burgular...I moved with silence and precision, grabbing the tape recorder, plugging it in and inserting the tape. I quickly stuffed it under my doona, and turned on the tape machine. I turned it up to a level my brother would not hear and rested my ear beside the speaker...

Each day I would have to sneak the tape recorder out of the hall cupboard and return it each morning because I could not take the risk of my parents looking for it and raising the alarm.

David Tchappat

The Open Brethren share the same historical roots with the Exclusive Brethren, but they split over disagreements about discipline. The Open Brethren consist of at least 4 sects, ranging in strictness. The public are welcome to their services and they evangelise to encourage new membership.

The Exclusive Brethren is a cult and new membership other than births is practically non-existent. They rely on the instruction from their man of God, the Elect Vessel.

Apparently their core doctrines are similar, but could not be more different in practice. The Open Brethren are allowed to socialise with people of different beliefs, but adhere to strict moral code.

People from the Open Brethren I knew from school had very high moral standards and didn't have a problem with eating with 'worldly' people, public swimming pools, TVs and computers. They were polite and conservative. Women were allowed to work, unlike in the Exclusive Brethren.

I recall one girl in the Open Brethren moving in with her boyfriend. There was a major scandal in the grapevines between the Christian churches and her family moved quickly to ensure she broke up with her boyfriend. Years later, I bumped into this girl, and she was married to someone in her church and had children. She was a bit ditzy, but was always polite and smiling.

I was raised in a strict family with a christian upbringing. I was not allowed to have a boyfriend and I did not rebel against my parents as a teenager, even though I thought they were being unfair. Even so, my family had a television and radio and were allowed to go swimming (even though they did not approve of 'wordly' music etc).

I was not told told why I was not allowed a boyfriend, just that they would 'take advantage of me' (with no further information given). The only 'sex education' I had was a small amount of anatomy in science class, reading teen romance novels and hearing about the 'shame of teenage pregnancies.'

My father was made to feel guilty about having a nightly sherry and buying a lotto ticket by our church. He'd been in the army before I was born, and was very into rules. I recall a pastor's wife refusing to buy a school raffle ticket off me, because 'it was gambling'. I remember my sister getting her mouth washed out with soap for swearing.

My mother accepted everything the church said, and even went to the pastor to ask how to discipline us. She was very unhappy about my decision to leave home to go study science at university rather than go to bible college. Moving away from home to attend university was instrumental for me gaining independence.

I believe parenting that is too strict can be just as damaging as too much freedom. David wanted to experience all the things he was denied, like sex, alcohol, watching movies and lazing around being a lounge lizard. He pursued these things wholeheartedly before finding some kind of balance.